(ANS – Lyons, France – May 17) - If the development of the critical spirit is at the center of the
educational mission of school, it is, or ought to be, also central to and
within families. How does interaction in the family take place? What is its quality? How does one give space to the words of one’s
children? And open their horizon? Here are some parents talking about the rules
they have adopted.
The first imperative is never to make fun of the
children. Don Bosco invites us to take
what is positive, even when we do not agree. The hardest thing is to listen to the child,
respect his word, not denigrate him.
The second imperative is to worry about or concern
oneself with explanations. Parents make
decisions all the time, make choices for the whole family. But they must also be careful to explain them,
take the time to explain the reasons for the decisions. Giving the reasons leading to one’s decisions
and the meaning to be sought in them helps the child make her own choices in
the future.
The privileged place for talk is at the table. “We
start from a lived or experienced situation, a subject discussed in the
classroom or a question that they have asked us, and each one of us takes the
time to express themselves, to listen and be listened to, without necessarily
reacting,” explains Agnes, mother of four children in Lyons.
“And you, what do you think?” This is the most used phrase at the table in
Helen’s family. The important thing is to regulate talk among the children,
that is, to encourage those who do not speak, to ensure that those who speak
all the time also listen. “Everyone has
the right to disagree” is another fixed point.
“When there is nothing special to say, we go to Trois kifs, the title
of the book by Florence Servan-Schreiber, published 8 years ago. It helps in
that it gives everyone a chance to speak: ‘Tell us, what is it that marked or
struck you today?’ Very often, it might
be a case of conscience, or some event that happened in the classroom, problems
of justice and injustice that may have darkened or delighted the child during
the day,” continues Helen.
It is important that the adult does not judge
immediately, does not give solutions too quickly, does not generalize too much
with phrases like “that’s the way it is,” but gives a chance for children to
open up to the other’s perceptions, to take other points of view, to question
what is being discussed.
Of course parents must have the same qualities. An adult’s talk is significant or meaningful
when the children realize that they too have taken the time and made the effort
to listen to others and weigh their opinions.
Source: Don
Bosco Aujourd’hui
No comments:
Post a Comment